What's wrong with me mentally **Serious question... **?

You are over conscious about your own behaviors-due to low self esteem, low confidence. It doesn't matter what happened in the past, you take control of yourself now, stand up tall, wecome smiles-smile back. Yu ake a mistake here & there no one will notice it-only you notice them so much. At library, speak to an employee who can help you find good book on self esteem, self confidence. Once you have gone at that, get help in looking for books on assertiveness. I am 60, during my younger years i was like yourself, through my employer I had opportunity to attend assertiveness I, and assertivenes II, some techniques in there become part of your behaviour, and they sure come in handy. It gives your confidence good boost-that is exactly what you need. Do not worry, you will get there as long as you keep on working at some of your weak points. YOu will be very proud of yourself one day. Good luck.